I’m Halfway There!
But I’m not halfway there. After four weeks at this, I’m beginning to think that instead of being in the middle of an 8 week program, I’m at the beginning of the start of lifelong habits.
Yeah, I didn’t see that coming either.
Of course, it’s still a MASSIVE struggle, and of course I feel like scraping this COCKAMAMIE idea pretty much every second of every day.
But I don’t (also I’m kind of exaggerating) because I’m kinda/sort-of/almost feeling pretty good. Now, I’m not even close to BEING good (yet) because for the the second weekend in a row (and for the second time in more than a year) we had bacon for breakfast last Sunday. Honest, I usually stay away from bacon, but my son had a sleepover buddy, and for some reason, bacon found its way into my gullet AGAIN. Also, for some reason, I’m drooling as I write this (yeah, bacon). Actually, there is a reason I’m drooling. Bacon is a gift from heaven, and any day that starts with bacon is a good day. A good day indeed.
However, I’m starting to feel the effects of the prior weeks–good AND bad. I feel (and maybe possibly LOOK a teeny tiny bit better), but I sometimes don’t feel the desire to be as strict as I did at the outset of this, and I almost regret doing this online (but not really because it’s really making me stick to it).
Week 4 Recap:
- Sunday. Well, bacon. So my sticker is gone, and even though I only had 6 or 7 pieces, and it was for breakfast (which also included a smoothie and some toast), it was still bacon. However, I made a sandwich for lunch, and instead of my usual MEGA Dagwood creation (lots of meat, mayo, cheese…) I had a relatively plain sandwich, with some vegetables, and water. Keep in mind I did this with a house full of leftover chips, cupcakes, lemon squares, chocolates, and other party favourites. If I can refrain from succumbing, and hit Joyride or my basement gym today, I’ll forget about the bacon transgression. Uh oh, here comes the drool again. UPDATE @10PM: I had a small supper, but no Joyride. At least the cravings didn’t start.
- Monday. Well, it was nice while it lasted. THE DAMN CRAVINGS ARE BACK AND THEY’RE BACK WITH A VENGEANCE. It’s not easy knowing that so much bad food is in my house, and after a good breakfast, lunch, and snack, I got home after school and it got to me. I ate a lemon square. And another. And another. And several more. I probably had 500 calories. Also, I made carbonera for supper (pasta with bacon, milk, an obscene amount of parmesan, and egg). I didn’t overeat, but I didn’t undereat either. NO STICKER!!! Wait, I actually did something pretty neat today. My daughter is sick, and I picked her up early from school to take her to the doctor. I promised her a treat, and she asked for a Blizzard or McFlurry, so I took her (because kids ALWAYS get a treat when they’re sick) to McDonalds.
She had an ice cream dream, and I just had a dream. No sticker, but no ice cream either.
- Tuesday. I spent the day craving, but also refraining, so that was okay. I was out of spinach, so I couldn’t have a smoothie for breakfast, and it really messed me up. Cereal and toast for breakfast. A small lunch. Fruit for snack. And then I got home. I NEEDED to have one of Saturday’s leftover cupcakes, so I ate one. I felt bad. And I felt good. But mostly bad. Aw man, it was so good though. All frostingey and sugary. I’m not sure if today’s transgression was a matter of not caring, or the effects of Saturday poking their head, but I also had too many peanuts for evening snack. And juice. My daughter is still sick, and there’s juice. I drank juice. Bad Colin. No sticker.
- Wednesday. Okay breakfast, good lunch, decent dinner, and a few small snacks. That’s a sticker.
- Thursday. Good breakfast, good lunch, great dinner (um, a naked burrito–and I didn’t die of hunger), and no bad snacks. Yeah baby, for the second day in a row, that’s a sticker!
- Friday. Three stickers in a row? Nope. Good breakfast: Check. Good lunch: Check. No snacks: Yup. Pizza for dinner: Yes (Lots. Like, a lot). Beer with my buddy Jeff Shikaze: Yup (but he totally made me do it, and I only agreed because he was feeling nostalgic and I thought it would be rude if I made him drink alone, and he promised me that he’d give me a sticker nonetheless). However, when I got to thinking, the amount of pizza I consumed (it was a LOT of pizza) probably negated a sticker anyway. And when I really got to thinking, the miniscule bowl of chips that I had (with Helluva Good Dip) before dinner, did not help my chances. But something really really cool happened. After I had the chips (okay, fine, I had a glass–or two–of orange juice too) I felt lousy. Like, really really crappy. And, as was the case on Saturday night, it was such a familiar feeling. I’ve been up to this for a month, and I feel bloody awesome. I have more energy, I’m alert and even spry feeling. I can’t believe it. Best of all, there’s no guilt associated with eating. This really surprised me. Prior to starting this, I ALWAYS felt bloated, gurgly, and worst of all, terribly guilty.
- Saturday. Good breakfast; no morning snack; salad and two small slices of leftover pizza for lunch; no afternoon snack; a naked burrito for dinner; water when I felt thirsty; no chocolate when I really felt like eating chocolate, and two bowls of Froot Loops for an evening snack because I was just so hungry. Okay, so the Froot Loops were pretty bad (and yes, it was probably a 600 calorie snack) but I’m calling them a draw because I didn’t have a single bite today that wasn’t part of a meal. Boom. A sticker. UPDATE @10PM. Shortly after my Froot Loop spectacle, I realized there was a fatbike race on Sunday, so I called Dan Marshall to see if I could borrow his bike. He said yes, and with that, I prepped everything I needed for a race…with two bowls of Froot Loops in my belly…my first race of the year…on a borrowed bike…at 10PM….and I hadn’t ridden a fatbike in 13 months. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, aside from the debacle that Sunday is sure to be, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m actually down a few pounds on my scale (only 3, but I’ll take it). Better than that, I’m totally controlling my cravings. Even better than that, I’m having waaaaay fewer cravings (I’m down to only 23 hours of desperate yearning…). Bestest of all, I can subject myself to sweets and not even blink. I went to the Dad’s Cookies factory outlet on Thursday so that I could buy some cookies for my students. That place is hallowed grounds for me, and a shrine to awesomeness. I live close to the factory, and on warm days, you can small (TASTE) the sweet concoctions. They had boxes of 12 count, jumbo-sized, Crunchie bars, Crispy Crunch, and Mr. Big. They had three kinds of Oreo (original, golden, and peanut butter), oatmeal like crazy, and other cookies that literally made me regret many of my life choices. But I didn’t succumb. I didn’t even ask for a sample that they usually have under the counter (and if they don’t, they open one for me–always). I bought a garbage bag size of chocolate-oatmeal cookies (no hyperbole here, an actual garbage bag size for 10 bucks), and served them to my students the next day AND DIDN’T HAVE A SINGLE COOKIE.
It’s coming into week 5, with four weeks left until race day, and I’m feeling pretty groovy.
- Weekly sticker tally: 3 (Boom)
- Joyride x 2 (1 proper JR rip, and a ride with my pal Jeff Shikaze)
- Nightly core + morning smoothie/vitamins: 7